Life.

I'd like to consider myself as someone who views life as temporary and fragile. I cherish my moments as a young mother and as a young wife. I think that we're often guilty of taking things for granted but I'd even like to think that I am level headed and am fortunate and seek the positive in moments of anything less than. Today however I have a whole new set of views on things. I will continue to appreciate the things that I have. Now however I see how fast those things can be wiped away. By now I'm sure you know what has conspired in our last few days around here. I'll ponder my thoughts for you. I was on my way home in the dark and the rain and giddy to be home by a fire and my husband's embrace. Happy that I could step into my children's rooms and see them in deep sleep and as I do everynight before I myself drift off...I kiss them on their heads and whisper in their ears "I love you to the moon and back." Sometimes they wiggle around but usually they remain in deep sleep. Almost home I remember a song coming on the radio...one that I've been doting on for several months now. I vividly rememer the song ending along the same time I took my exit. As I approached the intersection I thought to myself as I always do as I cautiously soar through this particular spot....please don't let anyone be coming. Perhaps my instinct played a part. Without even knowing what was happening...it happened. In what must have only been several seconds, I'm not sure I can even wrap my thoughts around words to explain the madness. In those seconds of metal crunching and spinning around...the only thing I could do was repeatedly say "I can't die, I can't die, I can't die." I'm not even sure how many times I spoke those 3 words over and over. My car stopped not far from the sight of the impact. I threw open the door and walked away. I walked away. I walked away. I walked away. I walked away. It's amazing actually. I'm certain it's the closest thing to a miracle I'll ever encounter. In a dazed and shocked moment I even questionned whether or not I truly was ok. I was whisked to a trauma hospital and without clear vision surrounded by numerous people who got to work. Apparently hyperventilating can take part of your vision away. Who knew? Three short hours later I was back at home. Did you hear that? I, the driver of the Honda Pilot, that t-boned a red light runner, while going 60 mph, was back in my sweet, calm, comforting abode 3 hours later. That's more than confirmation that my job here is true and needed and this is right where I am supposed to be. Instead of RV waking up the next morning to tell 3 babes that they didn't have a mother...I popped up and scurried into their rooms and did nothing more than hold them tight. The soreness and brusing that has followed is felt with pure pleasure. Kiss your babes for me won't you?